A Christmas Wish
by Abarai Starsha
Summary: He never believed in wishing, until he made one.


**AN: Happy Holidays! Just another angsty holiday story swimming around the depths of my mind – totally AU… I know, I know, I should be working on my other story, but I thought I would get these seasonal things out of my head first. :P If I come up with another then I'll combine them into a short story chapter thing…**

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A Christmas Wish

By: Abarai Starsha

Toshiro sighed as he looked at the stacks of paperwork on his desk. He wasn't in the mood for work. He wasn't in the mood for much of anything since she was gone. As hard as he tried, his thoughts kept drifting back to her. The way she smiled, the way she moved, the way she talked, the way she kissed. She was everything he had ever thought to have and things he never imagined. She completed him in ways no other woman ever did or could. He was strong where she was weak; she was strong where he was weak. How he missed her. He missed talking to her the most. He could be himself, no pretenses, no worries about what she thought of him for thinking the way he did or saying the things he said. He was free to be free around her. He never felt so alive around anyone before her. And now she was gone.

He turned and looked out of the window. It was snowing. He knew he was responsible, but he didn't care. It was almost Christmas, her favorite human holiday. He remembered last year, Christmas Eve, when she drug him to the Living world and took him to a skating rink. It wasn't easy to slide over ice in those shoes she insisted he wear. After falling on his butt several times, he took them off. He remembered her laughter the most. The way she looked at him, not with pity or malice for falling, but with fascination. How could the ice prince fall on his butt so many times? She had asked between bouts of laughter. He was able to get his revenge at least when he threw ice down her shirt. He wasn't sure what made him do that, but the look on her face was priceless. He thought they were even until she threw the snowball at him.

She looked at the sky after the fight, covered in snow and gazed at the stars. She told him that humans had something called a Christmas wish. It was more powerful than simply wishing on a falling star because the spirit of Christmas was behind it. She said only the most special of wishes were granted. He remembered he was about to blow her off when she turned to him with the most serious look in her eyes. She told him that her Christmas wish was for them to be together for eternity; that she loved him with all of her soul.

How he missed her. Toshiro closed his eyes and wished for the impossible. He wished for her. He wanted nothing more than for his office door to open and for him to see her smiling face ready to bring him some kind of mischief or another troublesome adventure. He wanted her near so he could tell her again how much she meant to him, how much he loved her.

A few months ago she went on a routine mission to Hueco Mundo. It was routine for the different squads to rotate personnel in and out of that area to monitor things since the war ended. There were still a few Espada out there and the Central 46 wanted eyes and ears there to make sure the balance was kept. It was her second rotation, third time there yet something happened when they arrived. A huge sandstorm hit and the small patrol of five members were separated. Four were found. She was not.

Several other patrols looked endlessly for her. Toshiro defied orders and went looking for her himself. He spent almost a month out there before he was forced back. No trace of her or her reiatsu could be found and they listed her as missing. Now, a month later, Toshiro sat at his desk wishing for the impossible. Wishing for her to be found alive and brought back to him.

He snapped back to reality when he heard someone at his door. He found himself holding his breath in spite of himself.

"You're going to turn everyone into popsicles if you don't let up a little, Shiro-chan," Momo said as she came in.

Toshiro released the breath he was holding. "It's Hitsugaya-taicho, Momo." He said in his usual monotone voice.

"I know," she said, giving him a sad smile. "Did you sleep any better last night after that tea I gave you?"

"No."

"Nightmares still?"

Toshiro looked back out of the window. He didn't have to say anything, she already knew the answer. Like she knew what he was thinking right now.

"She's still out there." He stated flatly.

"We've been through this. Every patrol change the first thing they do is look for her reiatsu, it's gone. She's gone. You were there yourself," She said as she moved closer to his desk.

"It doesn't matter." Toshiro stopped. Momo wouldn't understand. Renji, Byakuya, they've already given up on her. He couldn't. The moment he did, she would be truly be gone forever.

"Come have lunch with me. It'll take your mind off of things and will give the rest of the place time to warm up." She smiled at him.

He looked at her. Pity. She reeked of it. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"I don't think so, Momo. I have all of this paperwork to finish. That will be enough to get my mind off of things. Check back next week, I might be finished by then," with that he dismissed her and turned his attention to the first piece of paper on his desk.

She hated when he did that. She could almost hear the slam of his conscience as he shut her out. He would never do that to _her._ She was allowed into the depths of his mind and heart where Momo has never gone. Sighing, she left.

And so it went for the next few days, the snow continued to fall as he stared out of his office window. The snow was getting worse as her favorite holiday drew near. His office had an endless supply of visitors, each one trying to get him to stop from making it snow. He frowned. She loved the snow so he would make sure there was plenty of it for her special day.

He watched as a hell butterfly tried its best to fly as it made its way towards his window. He opened the window for the small black creature. He marveled for a minute at how sturdy it was compared to those of its type found in the human world. Those would never make it through this kind of weather. He held his finger out and gave it a nod for it to release its message.

_Hitsugaya-taicho you are to report to the 4__th__ division medical wing as soon as possible. Hitsugaya-taicho you are to report to the 4__th__ division medical wing as soon as possible. Hitsu-_

He shook the butterfly off of his finger and gave it a small smirk. So the snow did have an effect on them.

As he stood up, his door burst open.

"They found her! Taicho! They found her!" Matsumoto said while out of breath and panting.

Toshiro froze. He didn't dare move for fear of waking up. Did she really say…

"This morning's patrol found her. They're bringing her to the 4th," she looked at her dazed friend. She smiled, "You're not dreaming, Taicho."

He looked at her and then was gone.

Toshiro got there just as she was carried in. She was covered with cuts and bruises and she was pale and dangerously thin. Her beautiful eyes were closed. That was all he got to see before she was whisked behind the exam room door. Unohana and Isane went in. Ukitake came in shortly after and sat down in front of the pacing young Taicho.

"They found her in a cave," Toshiro stopped pacing and looked at the older man.

"You know what happened?"

"I just happened to be turning in some paperwork at the first when they came through the gate. Two took her here, the other two made a verbal report."

Toshiro nodded and waited for him to continue.

"Apparently, she was barely conscious when they found her. She got separated during the sand storm and fell into a sand pit. From there, she was lost in the Forest of Menos. Having to hide her reiatsu from the Menos and with the layer of sand acting as a barrier, it wasn't a wonder no one could feel her reiatsu."

"She was trapped and lost this whole time. She wasn't dead." He said in a low voice. Outside the storm raged on.

"A few days ago there was another sandstorm in which she was able to find a way out of the forest however, in her weakened state she had to fight. When the new patrol came on this morning, they found her."

"Where's her brother?"

"He and Abarai are on a mission in the Living world. Word has been passed to Urahara and Yoruichi, they'll tell them."

They stayed there for over hour until finally, Unohana and Isane came out of the room.

With kind eyes Unohana said, "We've finished the healing, but it will take a while for her to recover. She is extremely weak and malnourished so we will keep her here for a while. You can see her, but don't tire her out; she needs to rest as much as possible until she regains her strength."

"Thank you," Toshiro said as he walked into her room.

He grabbed a chair and sat next to her. He debated with himself and his hand hovered over hers. Coming to a decision, he carefully took her hand and covered it with his other one. Feeling the warmth from her hand had an instant calm over him. She was battered and bruised, but she was alive. She was here, he was holding her hand. Everything he wished for was right here. Wished.

"This whole wishing thing…" he said as he moved his other hand to the side of her face and gently stroked her cheek, "I thought you were silly to believe in such nonsense. You were right though. I made a wish."

Her eyes opened as she held onto his hand. Her big violet orbs were tearing up. She turned her head so she could look at him easier and as their eyes met she smiled.

"You made…a wish?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Yeah," he said as he wiped away the tear that fell. "I wished for you to come back to me."

"All I could think about…was finding my way…home to you," she said as brought her other hand around. Toshiro stood up, leaned over and held her. He buried his face against her neck. "That was my wish," she said as she held him. "Merry Christmas, Toshiro."

"Merry Christmas, Rukia."

~FIN~


End file.
